When I walked out of work today at 4:30, I was no longer an SPM (Senior Project Manager). No longer tied to the business 24/7. I applied for the SPM position three or four times, and I'm still fairly certain that one area of expertise landed me the original shot. I don't think that anyone thought I'd be able to do the work. Surprise! Not only was I good, I was DAMN good. But I knew all along that I didn't want to stay.
So the opportunity to switch to something less stressful presented its self. I decided to apply for the Group Leader position. Got the job. Secured a pay check. Kept my benefits. I'll work three or four twelve hour days a week. But that's not what I am, it's what I do to make ends meet, to put the roof over our heads.
I am a writer.
There. I said it. I'm doing it. It's part two of my journey. The part where it's for me, and I get to dust off all the old dreams and see if they can become new again. I feel whole again, knowing that I don't have to answer to anyone, that even if I never publish a thing, that if I write, it will be for me and that for me brings me joy. Joy is that elusive thing that has been missing from my life.
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